Hi E yes you should be reaching out with a text that Chris suggests at the end of your NC. Hes checking to see if youre still gullible or naive, 9. reach out after months Your email address will not be published. How can I have no contact rule in this case? However, its the exact opposite after your no contact rule ends. They attempt to keep you and want you back. His comments come after Russia claimed Ukraine tried to carry out a drone attack on Moscow in the early hours of this morning. Texts like these would usually contain the phrases; Im sorry, I messed up or You deserve better. Depending on the circumstances of your breakup, you can decide whether to reply to these messages or ignore them. Don't immediately reply and take some time to think it over to figure out what you ultimately want out of this interaction. I realized that I'm genuinely happy without him. If you or someone close to you is currently in crisis or in an emergency situation, contact your local law enforcement agency Of course, it sounds weird, but maybe he thought about calling you earlier and didnt have the guts to do so. They attempt to keep you and want you back. My ex and I havent talked in a month and he reached out basically saying its best for him to remain single but that he does miss me. It will also reveal any other big changes in his life that could have happened. Patti. And I believe thats all there was to it. Ltd. We sometimes include products we think are useful for our readers. These people often look for distractions elsewhere and may use denial as a form of avoiding the uncomfortable emotions they are feeling. Perhaps, your ex-boyfriend texted because theres an issue with any one of these shared properties. Unless he specifically says he wants to try & work out the relationship, I would tell him youre moving on. Your ex tells you directly hes missing you. Learn how your comment data is processed. She has reached out to me a few times via text in the past 35 months. Hi Lisa, this can be so hurtful and heartbreaking. Your ex cant be resilient if they were hurt by your actions. You sort of end up comparing and contrasting with previous relationships. WebWarner Bros. Television When an ex suddenly gets in touch with you out of the blue, it can be a confusing and frustrating situation. It wasnt as good as I imagined it would be, or as good as it had been in the past. 9 He also struggled with depression and was depressed the day he broke up. Depending on the situation and whether you want your ex back or not determines how you navigate the conversation with your ex. I was blown away by how kind, empathetic, and genuinely helpful my coach was. In your mind, its been a while since you broke up, and in the meantime, it feels like a lot of water has passed under the bridge. 1. Perhaps theyve been missing you and so have started to wonder if you could give it another go. Ex came back after 9 months - Never saw this one coming 9 months ago my ex broke my heart. 8 True Reasons Why Guys "Pop Up 1) Part of them misses you. These people deal with the emotional fallout from the breakup as it happens. I implemented the no contact rule and he reached out, he then decided to move away before the no contact rule finished so we met up before he left. Your feelings are valid. With the exposure that social media provides, women arent as gullible as they were before, it is harder to play mind games with women these days. From My Ex Again? Statistics Look Good Don't immediately reply and take some time to think it over to figure out what you ultimately want out of this interaction. We focus so heavily on the bad that we think its better to split. Hey LJE so your ex reaching out to you is a positive thing, what you need to do is read some articles about the subjects you need to be doing in your texts. You are familiar territory. 9 months later (and god nows how hard it was for me to maintain no contact and not check her social media), but yeah, 9 months later i could actually say that i moved on (still missed the good times tho) but i finally accepted that it was over and that she was NOT a nice person and yeah i was finally glad that we went our separate ways. reach out after months The trick on your end is actually to have something you need advice on. Even if you decide that you dont want them, you still dont want someone else to have them. Ex girlfriend reaches out after 9 months Please note: The suggestions and advice offered on this web site are opinions only and are not to be used in the place of professional psychological counseling or medical advice. They then miss you and want to get back in touch with you. You would usually go no-contact after this person has affected you negatively and it is ultimately better to no longer have anything to do with the person. So if men are more likely to be turning to breakup sex purely for sexual enjoyment, its probably not surprising that they report more positive experiences with it.. by Exes Come Back After Months of Separation Could he be sending flirty texts to another woman? So a month or two after your devastating breakup, your ex sees you on social media looking great, reaching your fitness goals, and not looking shabby at all. Exes Come Back After Months of Separation After they have done their mourning and processing, they are ready to move on. Replying to a text or a call too quickly can be a bad thingif you havent thought things through yet, you might end up saying something that you regret. He may have realized that you are the one for him during the time you were apart. The emotional pain I felt during the relationship was not worth my mental health. I did all the things I could to continue working on myself. One of the main reasons that an ex hasnt tried to contact you is because theyre dealing with their feelings. Beforehand, she was playing games on social media and trying to make me jealous, to which I ultimately deleted her. If they see you out with other people, they can start to get jealous. I love love love my GF, our relationship isnt perfect but its amazing and I am so excited for our future :) Theres zero part of me that wants to reconnect on a romantic level and honestly even platonic. What shall i do now?! Depending on the circumstances of your separation, you both may still have a chance at a happily ever after. Last Updated April 26, 2023, 1:05 am. The jackpot, the largest it's been since a record-setting $2.04 billion in November, officially reached the billion-dollar milestone after the Monday, July 17, drawing resulted in a rollover. What Ive noticed is that most people go through a pendulum of emotions where they either feel super excited and happy without their ex on one extreme, or theyre super sad and depressed. I had a scheduled therapy appt which I ended up doing remotely in a parking lot . Perhaps, he wants you feeling guilty for moving on from him so quickly. So, dont rush to text your ex back if he reaches out, find out what he wants first. We got caught up on the friends we had together. A few months into your split is enough time for doubt to well and truly set in. ex It usually means that the dumper is curious about the dumpee and that he or she wants to see how the dumpee thinks and feels during no contact. exes initiate contact after months of We often expect way too much from a relationship and so always end up dissatisfied. I went straight into NC, and last week he commented on my instagram and then in my DM asking me how Im doing I waited a few hours before I replied Im doing good. TIA! By rejecting non-essential cookies, Reddit may still use certain cookies to ensure the proper functionality of our platform. The reality is that we bond heavily with people when we come together to create a romantic relationship. Make sure you remain honest if you decide to speak. As heartbreaking as this seems, it's actually quite true. People with the biggest hearts seem to hurt the most. July 14, 2023, 2:00 am, by We did have ups and downs in the beginning but in the end before he broke up it was great And we love each other. I felt like I was never going to get over him. I saw the piles of red flags, I just didnt think they are that big maybe??? If you have a child or children together, then you may also get this type of text from your ex. 1) People who grieve the loss of the relationship, confront their feelings and subsequently process them. she was my first girlfriend (i'm 20y) and the first girl i ever loved but, but she treated me badly and our relationship was toxic af. Not all men are heartless, some know when theyre wrong, they accept their faults, and are mature enough to apologize for them. He emailed me. It's normal really, but it does not mean anything. Exes Come Back After Months of Separation We can get an image in our head of how something is going to be, but the reality doesnt quite live up to it. Commanders Name Change Coming? - NFL Tracker First, you have to face the painful realization that a guy you thought would always love you, simply doesnt want to be with you anymore. If you want specific advice on your situation, it can be very helpful to speak to a relationship coach. It may also mean that he only remembers you when he wants something. Remember, it's easy to make wrong decisions when youre emotional. If you buy through links on this page, we may earn a small commission. Texting you after a long period of time isnt always a very bad sign, sometimes it means that hes had time to think and grow. Hi Tanya, are you reaching out with texts that are asking him for advice or telling him something interesting? If your ex was ultimately a positive force, and you have a lot of respect and affection for them, you might decide you want to be friends. Anyway, a week prior to him breaking up with me I noticed him becoming distant and aloof, so I got a feeling something was up. Drop me a comment below to let me know what you think. I just accepted it and we left it at that, which was on fairly good terms. It's hard to find people out there who are willing to take anyone elses excesses, life is hard enough as it is. Reason #1: They missed you. He will reach out if hes lonely and/or horny. I answered short with no emotion. My name is Michelle Devani, and I've been helping people with their relationships since 2003. Ex It was founded by Lachlan Brown in 2016. If theyre reaching out to you and saying mean things but then suddenly switch to reaching out and saying nice things, theyre clearly a slave to the emotional pendulum swing. But I do hope theyre ok. Should I respond and what should I say? Take your time on your journey of healing. YOU or at least SOMETHING. WebTeacher Author has 1.3K answers and 804.4K answer views 1 y. There was some more from them but I kept it N/C. If you havent heard of Relationship Hero before, its a site where highly trained relationship coaches help people through complicated and difficult love situations. 9 Itll make him feel like his interests are valid to you and that he is actually teaching you something. Say him to him from me (I know the friend) After that we have not been in contact, so I am very confused about his intentions with reaching out. At first, hed probably shrug it off, especially if he has a new girlfriend, but after a while, his natural desire to be wanted will kick in. Should I reach out to him? It was very heartfelt and warming. These people deal with the emotional fallout from the breakup as it happens. Instead of letting yourself feel stupid, talk to a licensed therapist so you can deal with the parts of you that still want him. From what my team and I have seen there are generally three reasons for an ex to initiate conversation: This is perhaps the most obvious reason, especially if the breakup is still fresh because your ex misses the patterns and routines their life had with you in it. 2. He wants to test and see if the door is still open. He was curious about how I was doing, so he asked me. Hi Tina, you do have a chance but it may be a case of taking a while to make him not think that he is better single You need to work on being Ungettable so that he regrets losing you and worries that someone else is going to come in to your life and you move on for good because he essentially thinks that there is better out there than what he has in his life right now. ex Your ex cant be resilient if they were hurt by your actions. Sky News Louise Jackson But as soon as you can re-remember all the wonderful things about someone and your time together, you may wonder if youve made a mistake in letting them go. Required fields are marked *. However, the primary reason the no contact rule works is that youre not supposed to respond to your ex. I can be in a different room with him. On the other hand, he may also be fishing for information about your life. Its very tempting to go all Sherlock Holmes and dig deep into an exs motives for reaching out after months of no contact. I am tempted to be completely honest with my feelings but am worried it will ruin my hard work.. Hi Millie, so the fact you were giving him sex without a relationship is leading him to believe when he sees you that is going to be on the cards regardless of him being with someone else where he lives now. If your ex-boyfriend is a manipulative excuse for a man, he may be calling you back to see if theres a slim chance that you would still tolerate his crap. They had a difficult time accepting that you were no longer together. Or maybe theyre simply looking for attention. Its not over yet. thank u guys for reading. Maybe its playing on your mind and you need to know why he texted you? But that perspective often depends on how you tend to process breakups. When your ex finds random excuses to contact you and message you, its definite that your ex misses you. It wouldnt be a surprise if hes calling because he misses you. Its a basic motivation, but its often easier for him to seduce someone hes already been with than someone new. I didnt cry, yell, beg or anything like that. Going forward you need to be sure that you do not give him any intimacy without a relationship. Some women have confessed that theyve indulged their exes several times just because they want to keep their body count low. Many guys call their exes if theyre bored or feeling lonely that day. I worry now by breaking no contact he did this to gauge my anger and for his own validation and ego that I dont hate him. Some signs that show your ex misses you include: Your ex wants to know whats going on with your life. Do When an Ex Reaches Out to You If after the completion of no contact, all he wants to do is bring up emotional stuff and talk about closure, what am I supposed to do? I spent months crying over him. We had a talk and he broke up with me, and I actually handled it very well. TL;DR: My ex of 2 years and I reached out after months of no-contact. He will begin to wonder if you really are doing alright without him and hell hope that at least a part of you wants him back. One of the things men want to gauge by reaching out is how much youre suffering without them. Heres the link again. The lack of closure and the pain I felt of being discarded haunted me for months. Or, the worst fear - could he be cheating? Do When Your Ex Reaches Out To I feel like my chances are low in getting him back because i told him not to contact me. 2. It usually means that the dumper is curious about the dumpee and that he or she wants to see how the dumpee thinks and feels during no contact. How Long Does It Take A Fearful Avoidant Ex To Come Back? After those negative emotions have been released and healed, they may reach out because they realised that there were a lot of good things about the relationship that they were unable to focus on in a bad emotional state..